100 Word Challenge – Week #6

My Dad had a gift for me from Venice.  It was all wrapped up in really dark paper so I didn’t know what it was.

“What is that?” I said.

My Dad put the gift on top of my desk and said “find it out.”

I unwrapped my gift. Unfortunately, it dropped and broke. It was a sculpture of a dolphin. I didn’t know that it was made of glass. I felt so sad that I started crying.

My Dad was nice and didn’t mind. He had another glass sculpture of a “horse” which looked even prettier than the dolphin.

11 thoughts on “100 Word Challenge – Week #6

  1. Hello Afrah,

    On reading your entry, I found your story quite believable. A gift accidentally broken and a kind father replacing it with something even prettier could be a true story.

    You have made good use of the prompt. Your use of speech is also well done, including the punctuation. The only suggestion I might make for your excellent story would be to consider using a new line when each person speaks in your first paragraph. Here is what I mean…

    My Dad had a gift for me from Venice. It was all wrapped up in really dark paper so I didn’t know what it was.
    “What is that?” I said.
    My Dad put the gift on top of my desk and said, “Find it out.”

    I hope you keep entering the 100WC. You have a talent for writing and should keep sharing. 🙂

    @RossMannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

    • Hello Mr.Ross,

      My story was based on a true story, but I made up some changes to the actual thing that happened.

      I will make sure I put a new person speaking in a new line.

      Thank you very much for your suggestion and for commenting on my blog. I really appreciate it.

      Yours sincerely,
      Afrah.

      • Hello again Afrah,

        I suspected the story was based on true events. Many writers incorporate real events into their stories but, like you, do change events or characters to protect the real people or disguise some details of the real events. You have used a good writer’s technique. 🙂

        @RossMannell (Team 100WC)
        Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

        • Hello Mr.Ross,
          Thank you very much. I enjoy turning real events into stories then making changes to some parts. Do you sometimes use that writers technique? Thanks once again for commenting on my blog.
          Yours sincerely,
          Afrah.

  2. Hello Afrah,

    Without doubt, I have used real experiences in my writing. We can write so much more when we have experienced something similar in real life. A number of short stories in my writing blog have a touch of real experiences in them. Of course, many are purely fictional.

    @RossMannell

    • Hello Mr.Ross,

      Sorry it took so long to reply. I didn’t see the pending sign on your comment, so I didn’t know that you replied to my comment.

      I agree that when you have experienced something in real life, you can write so much more. When I sit down to write a story about something that happened to me in real life, I can write it much more quicker than any imaginative story I write. In lots of my stories that I write, sometimes to get an idea quicker, I think about something that happened to me in real life to write a really imaginative story. Sometimes I even write things about something that happened to someone else in real life I know.

      Yours sincerely,
      Afrah.

  3. Hello Afrah

    A very good entry, and you used the prompt well. This has happened many times to me! Where I’ve opened a present but I’ve broken it soon after, I was never lucky enough to get another one though! Very well done a very good 100WC entry!

  4. Pingback: Starting the 100 word challenge for 2013 | lee's classroom

  5. Pingback: 100 Word Challenge and 300 Word Challenge | lee's classroom

  6. Pingback: For Lillie | lee's classroom

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *